Back to Bristol
So I arrived back to student accommodation on Tuesday to find that there are a lot more people around than I expected. But then again, I'm also not surprised because this university majors in Business, so the (possibly) 60% of the student body is back to take their business exams. Everything is going well on the subject front: I seem to be using my inner referencing nerd in the book sections belonging to antique stores, and it's making me feel a lot older than I am. The only trouble is the body image problem. University is not a place that can teach you about self confidence; and when you look at all the girls that are successfully committed to the gym and look stunning at every moment of the day, you notice the awful discolouration of your hair. You begin to notice that you start to jiggle a lot more than you'd like to, and your second chin that would appear in silly face photos is becoming a norm in the mirror too. And then your skin starts to peel awfully and get really oily in patchy places. To say I'm not disgusted with the state that I'm in, is probably the biggest lie I've ever told. I can't blame it on Christmas because it looks like this has been coming for a while. I bought the healthiest shop of my time here at university and I still feel like the biggest blob, even though I've barely eaten any of it. I barely ate any of the chocolate or sweets or anything of the sort out of the hoard I got last year and I still feel like I over did it. And I know that you can't just suddenly lose weight because you get a piece of broccoli that one time but I've been working so hard at it. If I had to give an arm and a leg to have a flat stomach, I would do it in a heart beat and never look back. Desperation to lose weight is an understatement and it's killing me emotionally. I need my whole physical appearance fixed. I think if there were ever to be a popular subject in any part of the educational profession, it would be teaching people of any age to love themselves. I know this because I know so many that would attend; I would too. Because I sure as shitting hell need it.
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